I didn't know God and so didn't know how to ask. Instead, I prayed asking God to help me find Him.
I was born. I grew up. The world was dark and cold and hard. I was lonely in a, literally, soul-deep way.
I always knew there had to be a God (to explain the human mind and the wonders of nature), but I didn't think he particularly liked me.
Guiltily, I would pray before exams and foolishly offered bargains. It was the guilt of asking for something from someone I barely knew and who I only ever talked to when I urgently wanted something. Time and again, God had answered my prayers and yet I stayed distant from him.
It got to a point where, externally, my life probably looked pretty successful and full of potential, but internally I was ash - burnt out and crumbling. In the darkness, I began to whimper the question: what does God actually want me to do?
I didn't know God and so didn't know how to ask. Instead, I prayed asking God to help me find Him.
Slowly, gradually, like the nudge of a breeze, He did. He was patient and gentle, and still is so very patient and so very gentle. He handed me the Bible, He started to teach me new ways to pray, He warmed my heart and softened it, and He showed me the Church and then, when I was ready, He led me to what would become my particular church: Christ Church.
Things accelerated from there, a roller-coaster at times - and I don't like those! But this isn't a ride I want to get off.
I was born again. I am just starting to grow up anew. The world is still dark and cold and hard, but its also the opposite. I'm not as lonely anymore.
About the author
Jenny Fraher is a member of
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